the real reasons you don’t ask for help

You’re stuck.  You really want to move forward in your business but you’ve come to a barrier that you just can’t seem to get past on your own.  You’ve tried everything that you can think of but it…won’t…budge.

You know that there are people out there who could probably navigate your current challenge.  You thought about asking them once and then pushed the thought aside.  Perhaps you thoughts of them a second time, but now weeks have gone by and you still haven’t reached out for support.

Do you know why you don’t ask for help you desperately need?

Here are several reasons why you may be limiting your chances of success.

you’ll look stupid

You have a lot of valuable contacts in your network, but you’re afraid to ask for some things that you desperately need because you feel like you SHOULD know more about running a business.

You don’t want to appear as though you don’t know what you’re talking about and you don’t want to waste anyone’s precious time with your silly fears and insecurities.

When you were a child, you weren’t expected to know how to do anything.  Over time you naturally developed the ability to walk and talk and learned how to tie your own shoes, name the planets in the solar system, and do simple mathematical equations.  If you didn’t understand something, you asked without inhibition and received help from others.

In your first job, you weren’t expected to know how all the pieces fit together, how the systems and processes worked, who to go to for a particular problem, or even how to find the staff canteen.  Again you asked those around you until you eventually got the hang of it yourself.  The longer you were in a job, the more you learned along the way.

Why should it be any different in your business?  Do you truly believe that entrepreneurs magically know every single detail about starting a business – from the mundane tasks to the strategic ones?

From my experience of working with entrepreneurs all over the world, I can tell you otherwise.

You’re not expected to know it all from Day 1, but as with your past experiences, you can lean on those around you to help you figure it out.

If you knew that you weren’t stupid and that you can start a business, what would that enable you to do differently about your current challenge?

you’ve become a burden

Perhaps you feel that you’ve already exhausted your network and don’t want to be a further burden on them.

Your friends and family are tired of hearing about your business and don’t have the answers anymore.  You feel let down but the the advice that you’ve received in the past and don’t want to keep asking the same questions.  You can’t think of who else in your network would have the right answer.

So you’ve resigned yourself to believing that somehow you’ll have to figure this out on your own.  You spend time in online forums looking at mediocre responses to similar problems, type frantically into Google at 2am to search for a solution, or perhaps even push the problem to the side hoping it will just go away on its own.

Just think of how much time you’re spending on this process!

If you knew that you were not a burden to those around you and those people only want to see you succeed, how would you go about asking for the help you need?

you’re stubborn

Sometimes it has nothing to do with fear of looking stupid or feeling like a burden, but instead it’s pride.

This business is your baby.  You want to be able to do everything yourself and make your own decisions.  You believe that the answers other people give you won’t be quite right, so you don’t even want to hear them.  No one understands your business as well as you do, so what insights could they possibly offer that would be better than your own thoughts?

Yet despite knowing that you have all the answers, you’re still stuck.

Imagine instead an alternative scenario – one where asking for help does not relinquish control, does not make you a failure, and does know lessen your credibility as an entrepreneur.  The person before you has no hidden agenda and only wants the best for you and your business.  That person hopes that his or her insights will only spark off new ideas for you rather than restrict your thinking.

If you knew that you could gather ideas from others yet retain all control over the decision, who’s brain would you most like to pick?

over to you…

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Why don’t you ask for help when you need it?  What impact does that having on your business?